I’ve never been a great dieter. I mean, the trick to losing weight is no big secret. When I really put my mind to it, eating healthy and exercising, I can always make the pounds come off. But what I’m really good at is gaining weight. My diets usually follow a pattern. Good breakfast. Healthy snack. Uh-oh…miniature Twix from Halloween….oh, what the heck. Ice cream. Pizza. Cookie dough. BINGE until tomorrow. Not a great way to lose to weight.
My gluttonous eating habits remind me a lot of the Presidents fiscal indulgence. His actual physique has never appeared to be anything less than svelte. But, let me tell you, the way he spends looks a lot like the way I diet. He ran for President in ’08, determined to cut down our national debt. But, once he got into office, he was like, “Ehhh, screw it,” and he just binged on all of our tax dollars until he brought us to this crisis – the cliff of economic collapse where our bright idea is to raise the debt CEILING. Dude. We are at the ceiling. This “building” we’re in is full of overcrowded hospitals that have been forced to provide Obamacare. It’s full of women, standing in line for their birth control and tax funded abortions. We’re all scrunched up with cricks in our necks because we’re at the top of the building and there is no where else to go. The answer to that isn’t to reconstruct the building. It’s to get people out. We don’t need to raise the debt ceiling.